i’m sorry that i haven’t written anything substantial in the last couple of weeks. lots of things have been going wrong, and this causes me to feel really shitty and definitely not wanting to write. i know when i’m in a sort of mood like that, my writing will just be pissy and not good. i’m aware that that is where i’m heading right now, but i have to write. i really do. since this is a blog that belongs to me, i get to write about all the things that have been upsetting me. there are four to five main reasons why i’ve been in such a crappy mood lately.

one:
a couple of weeks ago, i went out of town to go see these bands i really like in austin. since this is a four-hour trip, i decided to take two days off of work. just two. i hardly ever take days like this off of work, so i thought they would be understanding. i told them i’d be gone wednesday and thursday, and that i’d be back the friday before halloween. so i went to the amazing concert, had a great time in austin the next day, and friday i was back at work. at first, i thought everything was peaches and cream, but then my supervisor called me into her office, and that’s never good. apparently, several of the people i work with had banded together while i was gone to tell my supervisor all the fuck-ups i’d committed over the past year or so. when you put all these little things into one big list, yeah, it sounds fucking awful. so right now, i’m in some sort of probationary status which totally blows. i haven’t spoken to these other women who i thought i was somewhat friends with in a while. it’s kind of a bummer, but that’s why it’s work. you don’t go to make friends. you go to make money.

two:
i attend a university and, within this university, i’m studying my major in the arts & sciences college (aka the humanities college, the liberal arts college, etc). in a lot of my classes, professors are constantly urging us to discuss the course content between us. in one particular classroom discussion about two weeks ago, a classmate made a particularly irrelevant and asinine comment. now, i’m not that brash that i point out people’s stupidities to them immediately. no. this girl has been a thorn in my side since the beginning of the year when i had her for two classes in the spring semester. since then, i’ve noticed that she seems to relish in making remarks in class that she, in some vague way, feels pertain to our discussion. she will constantly mention things about her family or the house her family is building or her boyfriend or her ex boyfriend and it’s not appreciated by me at all. finally, she said this one thing recently that i really couldn’t stand. everything went in tunnel-vision, and, before i knew it, i was making some snide remark about where she learned these things. a week later, my professor was emailing me to please visit her and it was to address this incident. this classmate of mine was truly hurt and instead of confronting me, she went to the professor and demanded that i publicly apologize to her in front of the class. hah! i told the professor that i would not do this, but i knew that i had lost control which was in poor taste on my part. while the issue has been dropped, it still feels shitty.

three: i think i’m a pretty level-headed girl. however, there is one aspect in my life in which i totally fucking fail at. i’m constantly losing things: clothes, gadgets, homework, personal belongings, etc. recently, though, it feels like i’m particularly good at losing my identification/drivers license. in the past two years, i’ve gone through about four different IDs. it sucks hard. especially now that i’m twenty-one and i should be able to go out to bars. anyway, last week, a good friend of mine invited me to this bar to go see his really cool band play. knowing that this bar sometimes has asshole-y bouncers, i took with me my provisional paper license, a birth registration card, and a student ID to prove i was the person on the first two credentials. even with these three documents, the bouncer did not let me in. i was turned away and i couldn’t even let my friend know in person. i was pissed.

four & five: these two are actually really pathetic reasons, having to do mainly with guys and how stupid they are and the demeaning effect they have on my personal confidence. i won’t waste my words.

i love you guys.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 10:17 pm and is filed under friends, me, people, school. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.