i am.

sorry for the major lack of update-age. clearly, i stopped updating as soon as i was done with school which is weird, but that’s what it is. not much has been up. well, that’s not true. december has been a crazy, overwhelming month with way too many things going on all at once, but i have enjoyed every moment of it.

happy new year, world. may it be more wonderful than anything has ever been, may you be loved and like and have people to love and like in return.

this semester has been a hectic one for me. being the brilliant person that i am, i decided to take four literature classes. why? it’s beyond me. fortunately, though, after 4:15pm this afternoon, i will be on a short three day break. that means i don’t have class wednesday or thursday and, even better, no work wednesday through friday! amazing. i love thanksgiving. i know it’s a total immoral holiday to celebrate with such enthusiasm, but it’s the best. really. i’ll break down its amazing-ness. first, you get the day before the holiday off, too. you’re feeling good, because for the past day you haven’t done anything except pick at the delicious food that’s been bought for the special day. if you’re a good person, you’ve also been considering what you can contribute to the big dinner yourself. personally, i like experimenting with desserts. yes, delicious, carb-filled, desserts. on wednesday, you can also catch some awesome marathon on tv. it’s either james bond films or clint eastwood movies or trilogies (star wars, lord of the rings, etc) or, my personal favorite, the Twilight Zone marathon on the sci fi channel. after you’ve watched the same show or series of movie for about six hours, you realize you have to go to bed. you get under your sheets, all excited and jittery but then you drift away dreaming of turkey and pie and stuffing and cranberry sauce and gravy fairies and football gods. then it’s thanksgiving. i would describe all the warm feelings this word inspires in me, but no. a simple mention in an ol’ run-of-the-mill post is not enough. that’s why right here, right now, i’m promising a Thanksgiving Special blog post coming this thursday, right to your computer screens. awesome. it will be great. i promise.  (more…)

i’m sorry that i haven’t written anything substantial in the last couple of weeks. lots of things have been going wrong, and this causes me to feel really shitty and definitely not wanting to write. i know when i’m in a sort of mood like that, my writing will just be pissy and not good. i’m aware that that is where i’m heading right now, but i have to write. i really do. since this is a blog that belongs to me, i get to write about all the things that have been upsetting me. there are four to five main reasons why i’ve been in such a crappy mood lately. (more…)

what happens next?
baby you can drive my car

(more…)

i am blessedly able to say that i have, not just one but, several best friends. most of them are scattered around. a few in austin, one in new york, another in college station, tx, but, once again, blessedly i have a friend who chose to attend the same university as me. we spend lots of time together, because friends as close as she and i usually do things like that. i totally love her to death, and if she wasn’t around as much as she is, i seriously would be way more unstable. she definitely helps keep me grounded. among her many, many special qualities that make me (and lots of other people) love her, we also share lots of things. well, maybe not that many. i really believe that a major reason we’ve been such good friends for so long is that we sort of mush together. we complement each other. whereas i, at times, lack a social filter, and consistently put my foot in my mouth, she is much more guarded and tactful. and so on. however, we do have similar opinions regarding lots of things. we like a lot of the same music, movies, and books. (more…)

i don’t want such a huge lag between posts to happen again, so i’ve had a bit of an idea to get myself to post at least once a day with some creativity involved. today, there was this big writing day on campus with loads of activities students could go to and learn something new. there were fun things, like listening to slam poetry and other more practical ones, like letter writing. i wasn’t able to attend lots of them, but i did make it to haiku writing around noon. it was really neat, and the people who were leading the session were great too. most of the audience, however, seemed to be students of the instructors and they were really shy. the instructors were trying to get the participants to share their haiku and the kids were very hesitant to do so. since the two instructors were kind of grasping, i decided to share all the haiku i’d written. they were stressing how impromptu and not so strict haiku writing should be (the 5-7-5 rule can be bent!) so most of mine were silly. it is fun, though. i’ve always loved haiku writing, even before this thing today. so this is how i’m going to be updating more frequently. one haiku a day on this blog will leave me feeling great and fulfilled. even if i’m running late in the mornings or i just can’t get to a computer, i’ll be able to update from my phone too. so here is today’s poem.

001
photos of your back
i know it’s kinda creepy
but you’ll never know

i’m taking this american literature class right now with the theme of women and the houses they live in. we started with some pretty typical stuff: anne bradstreet’s “upon the burning of our house”, emily dickinson’s “there’s been a death in the opposite house”, but now we’re moving on to more contemporary stuff. last week, we were supposed to read toni morrison’s beloved and i absolutely hated it. i know that toni morrison is supposed to be this amazing writer, and i don’t doubt for a millisecond that she is. it’s just that i’d never read anything by her, and all of a sudden, i’m expected to read beloved and it’s crazy. definitely too heavy for me. there’s all this talk about dead babies and their angry ghosts and cow-fuckers and i hated it. i couldn’t get past the first few chapters. i know i’ll have to, because i’ll be tested on my knowledge of the course content, but i’m not looking forward to it. i’m simply not. (more…)