i’m sorry that i haven’t written anything substantial in the last couple of weeks. lots of things have been going wrong, and this causes me to feel really shitty and definitely not wanting to write. i know when i’m in a sort of mood like that, my writing will just be pissy and not good. i’m aware that that is where i’m heading right now, but i have to write. i really do. since this is a blog that belongs to me, i get to write about all the things that have been upsetting me. there are four to five main reasons why i’ve been in such a crappy mood lately. (more…)

i’m taking this american literature class right now with the theme of women and the houses they live in. we started with some pretty typical stuff: anne bradstreet’s “upon the burning of our house”, emily dickinson’s “there’s been a death in the opposite house”, but now we’re moving on to more contemporary stuff. last week, we were supposed to read toni morrison’s beloved and i absolutely hated it. i know that toni morrison is supposed to be this amazing writer, and i don’t doubt for a millisecond that she is. it’s just that i’d never read anything by her, and all of a sudden, i’m expected to read beloved and it’s crazy. definitely too heavy for me. there’s all this talk about dead babies and their angry ghosts and cow-fuckers and i hated it. i couldn’t get past the first few chapters. i know i’ll have to, because i’ll be tested on my knowledge of the course content, but i’m not looking forward to it. i’m simply not. (more…)

today is monday and the day is half over.

this semester mondays are definitely my most trying day. i wake my poor self up around nine o’ clock and loaf around my room, occasionally spotting something on the floor or coming out of a dresser drawer that i might consider. i meditate in between wardrobe selections and also play with one or both of my pets. after i finally walk out of my front door for the third time (the first two don’t count since i have to go back anyway for my cellphone, keys, shoe, etc) at ten ’til ten, i speed over to campus, hoping that no law enforcement agents will finally decide that today will be the day i get punished for the calculated recklessness that is my driving. (more…)