2. this past week was the last week of classes at my school. this really makes me happy. next week, i only have four finals to worry about: two on monday, one on tuesday, and one on wednesday. after those four puppies, i’ll be done for the year. i won’t have to work about school again until late april next year when spring semester finals are coming around. after school lets out, though, the administrative offices stay open for an additional two(ish?) weeks and i’ll still be working. this is pretty awesome. if i wasn’t, i’d be totally smagotally broke. i mean, i could go work at my grandma’s place for extra cash, but eh. i’m looking for the winter break either way!

3. speaking of winter break. in the third week of december, there is a very special day that happens. lots of people celebrate and it never fails to bring a warm, happy feeling in the pit of my stomach. the day that i’m talking about and that you should already know??? my birthday! this year, i shall be celebrating my 22nd birthday on the 22nd of december. i think people call that the Golden Birthday. whatever that means. i’m pretty excited about my birthday, because i always am. it’s a great day. i’m just worried that it will be an anticlimactic after last year’s The Big Two-One, the real golden birthday where i was finally legally able to buy alcohol and go to most alcohol-serving establishments. i mean, twenty-one is a big deal for lots of people, myself included. but what exactly does twenty-two entitle? i don’t know. i’m looking forward to it anyway. it will be fun.

4. today while i was at work, i was doing the very tedious task of going through packets of faculty evaluation forms, making sure that all fields had been addressed and that all the bubbles had been penciled in completely. exciting, i know. on a serious note, though, i much prefer doing this task than finding myself task-less. i hate sitting around idly in my office with nothing to do. after a few hours of this, i started feeling my writing (right) hand cramping up and the callous on the left side of my middle finger where a writing utensil has rested for the past eighteen years was feeling particularly rough. i wanted to let my hand rest, but i didn’t want to look like i was slacking off. instead, i picked up a pencil with my left hand and started filling circles. i realized that this wasn’t too hard of a task and a thought occurred to me: i should try being able to write ambidextrously! so, something that i’ll be working on during the winter break will be my left hand handwriting. i can write. it just looks like a child’s handwriting.

5. so it’s the first week of december here and it’s finally getting cold here. i’m happy! there were lots of rumors of snow in the south texas area last night. i didn’t believe it (i was right, no snow), but i’m just happy that it’s getting to be under fifty degrees. it’s so friggin hot here the rest of the year, that i just shiver with excitement at the thought of cooler temperatures. people here are really sensitive to the cold. as soon as it gets under sixty degrees, they break out their delta vega/hoth-parkas, crank up the settings on their heaters, and lace up their fur-trimmed snow boots. it’s a little ridiculous. i like to enjoy it a bit more. yesterday, all i wore was a v-neck with a cotton vest that serves only for fashion statement purposes. i did get a bit cold, so today i wore a hoodie. at one point i started getting a little warm, so i just walked around in a tshirt for a while. it was awesome. i love the cold!

001
photos of your back
i know it’s kinda creepy
but you’ll never know

imagine the following dialogue in mocking, overly-masculine voices:

friend: hey, dude, you know that girl brenda?
him: uhh, that girl from that class we had last semester?
f: yeah.
h: what about her?
f: well, she has on a link on her facebook to this blog she writes, and she wrote this whole post all about you and she made this t-shirt that says “i heart aaron” and she wears it under all hear clothes.
h: oh, come on.
f: well, who can blame her? i mean, you’re gorgeous.  and ok, look, I’m not saying she’s a stalker, but she saved this kleenex you used and she said she’s gonna do some kind of African voodoo with it to make you like her.
h: what?
f: i know she’s kind of socially retarded and weird, but she’s my friend, so just promise me you won’t make fun of her.

in the year 2004, the movie mean girls was released in theaters. it was written by the amazing tina fey, and i borrowed some dialogue from it for the second half of this imaginary conversation. it’s totally applicable to my situation. he is totally gorgeous, and i most assuredly am socially retarded and weird. also, i won’t say for sure, but i may or may not have made a shirt with his name, saved a used kleenex, and pondered some kind of african voodoo.

about a year ago, i signed up for this literature class. i didn’t know anyone who was going to be in the class, so i only had the actual course content to look forward to. the start of the new semester finally came around, and, as is my usual custom, i decided to go to class early so that i could get a good seat. my preferred seat is always in the back row and against the wall opposite from the door. so, i’m sitting there with my legal pad and my ballpoint pen and my please-don’t-sit-next-to-me-or-try-speaking-with-me expression when my world is totally rocked. i didn’t notice him until he was walking directly in front of me. he was of average built and height, but he smelled of a smokey musk. he sat in the desk in front of me and it was like this from about late august to early december. writing this post has made me sigh wistfully, over and over again. since that semester, we’ve had several other classes together, which means that we’ve shared some sort of acquaintanceship for more than a year now.

in the handful of classes that we’ve had, the interaction i’ve had with him has been a minimum. in the classes where he sits in rows in front of me, i get to to stare at the back of his head for as long as i want. when he sits in the back row, too, it gets complicated. i have to be sneaky about stealing glances. unless he’s speaking out and contributing to class discussion, i have no reason to be looking at him. as far as talking or face-to-face interaction, it’s at a pathetic minimum. i’ve asked him for a pen and a scantron. i think once i asked him for the time too. i know, i know. it’s pathetic. but hey–i’m okay with it.

i’m quite alright with the whole thing. in fact, i would say that my relationship right now with this guy is absolute perfection. before you start calling me crazy (“you’ve never even had a conversation with him, bee!”), hear me out. i guess you could call it an “open” relationship. we see each other when we see each other. several times a week is perfect. it’s not too much so that means we don’t crowd each other. i never bug him about calling me, and i never expect him to. he’s never lied to me or been mean to me. whenever i’ve asked him for anything, he’s given it to me (see above). best of all, i keep him at a distance, so he’ll never know about all my crazy. i definitely think this will last. this thing where i’m too chicken to talk to him could last for years! say what you will, but my relationship with him is way better than the kind with all the expectations and disappointments.

i am complacent.

i really wish i could share more about this guy, but i’m paranoid. way more then i definitely should be. i mean, the few people who read this blog already know who this guy is but… i just can’t. rest assured, though, that he is totally worth the attention. i don’t know what it is that really keeps me from talking to him. he seems like a pretty nice guy. as far as interaction with the opposite sex goes, i usually keep it at a minimum just because i’m so weird and awkward. for him, though, i hardly ever see him talking to girls. he doesn’t seem like the womanizing type. i just can’t bring myself to talk to him. he intimidates me i guess.

for now though, i’ll be sticking with the love-from-afar (aka stalking) approach.

this semester mondays are definitely my most trying day. i wake my poor self up around nine o’ clock and loaf around my room, occasionally spotting something on the floor or coming out of a dresser drawer that i might consider. i meditate in between wardrobe selections and also play with one or both of my pets. after i finally walk out of my front door for the third time (the first two don’t count since i have to go back anyway for my cellphone, keys, shoe, etc) at ten ’til ten, i speed over to campus, hoping that no law enforcement agents will finally decide that today will be the day i get punished for the calculated recklessness that is my driving.

i get to campus pretty quickly and, after circling the lot two, three, twelve, eighteen, thirty-three (?!) times, i get an okay parking spot and end up walking into my office about ten minutes late. if it wasn’t for my incredible efficiency as a student administrative assistant, i would be unemployed. as of eight months ago. after a mix of good work, facebooking, and other miscellaneous non-productive activities for two hours, i go on a lunch break. since i live so close to campus, i’m always more than tempted to go home for lunch. today, for example, i did give in to my homebody ways and had lunch at home. most of the time, though, i just stick around on campus.

after lunch, i work for another ninety minutes (how do i manage working so hard?? i ask myself daily…) and head over to my first class of the week: history of the english language. before you interject about how interesting that sounds, spare me. while the professor is great, the class itself is a total drag. the textbook is incredibly dense, making it mandatory that one read a 40-page chapter at least three times before anything truly begins to sink in.

after HEL (as us really cool english majors refer to this course), i have YAL (another nifty acronym): young adult literature. this class is really neat, mainly because the professor has given us the opportunity to choose whatever we want to read. so far, i have had to turn in assignments on Animorphs (amazing, i know), Pride & Prejudice, and, for our end of the year presentation, my literary circle will be making an elaborate project devoted entirely to neil gaiman’s The Graveyard Book. it is exciting!

after YAL comes the big’un: 17th century literature. at the beginning of the semester (all five weeks ago…), i had a time conflict and i wasn’t able to register for the undergraduate class. fortunately, the professor was going to offer a graduate course and follow the same syllable. i spoke to the professor, and he allowed me to register for the grad course. this is an awesome class. when people think of the 17th century english literature (because i know people often ponder this), i know their minds quickly focus on ol’ bill shakespeare. however, the 1600s were rife with other amazing authors and this class is devoted to knocking that old hack off the pedestal he’s been standing on for the past three hundred years. that class is two and a half hours long since we only meet once a week, so i end up getting home at nine o’ clock.

i’m usually pretty beat, so i just have a light dinner, do some homework, and go to bed. it’s a crazy day, but i love it!

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